We are all familiar with the advice of how to live a balanced life. It has become a huge staple in the self-help, spiritual, counseling, and coaching communities to the point of redundancy! Most everyone is constantly trying to achieve balance and learn how to apply it to their lives.
The question is are we striving for something that is unrealistic to achieve? Can we ever truly have the ultimate balanced lives each and every day? And what is balance really? What does true balance look like for the average human?
Some may believe that a balanced life means having equal time and energy put into each area of their life. An example of this would be consistently incorporating fitness, spiritual growth, personal care, family time, social time, educational growth, hobbies, work, diet, and sleep into ones daily or weekly routines!
Everyone is different, but to some degree, most of those mentioned areas are important to incorporate. The problem is, all of those areas cannot have equal time and attention given to them. Life is unpredictable and ever-changing so it’s common to drop the ball, lose track of time, become overwhelmed, or lose motivation with balancing so many areas at a time.
Imagine a balancing scale——then imagine a wife and mother who works full time. In a single day she may have a lot of mothering tasks, so one side of the balancing scale tips downward. She’s so busy with mothering, she doesn’t get to read her favorite book, tend to her husband as much, or plan a healthy menu for the week. The scale is uneven so she goes to bed disappointed because she really wants more time with her husband, hobby, and meal prepping.
Imagine another scenario where we have a young master’s graduate and working class man. He loves traveling, fitness, hanging out with friends and advancing his career. Lately, he is overwhelmed with work duties and never has time for much else. His friends complain that they never see him. He just can’t find balance between work and these other areas of his life so he constantly contemplates quitting his job or decreasing hours. If we were to imagine a balancing scale in his situation, work would certainly weigh an entire side down.
In both of these made-up but realistic scenarios, the individuals are not only bogged down with life, but they are bogged down with the idea that they “have to” balance their lives. So in essence, it’s the idea and pressure of balancing that impedes upon them more stress and disappointment.
How many of us can relate to their situations in some way? One week you are a great worker, then the next your work slacks because you are spending more time with family. One week you knock being a parent out of the ball park, but completely miss the mark with self-care or spiritual growth. The examples are endless. So again we ask, can true balance really be achieved? Can we ever get the scale of life to become and stay balanced?
We think not!!!!! We believe the balance system needs to be ditched. Today we are introducing the Rounded Life System. The Rounded Life System is built on notion that everyone’s life is to be viewed as a round circular motion where all areas are linked with God at the center. So instead of every area of your life needing to be balanced, every area of your life simply needs to stay connected and operate in a fluid motion.
In this system one area touches another and as long as you give healthy attention to one area, the other areas will naturally be influenced and get necessary attention.
Let’s revisit the first scenario of the working mother and wife. She may sometimes spend a lot of time with mothering tasks. But it’s not a bad thing. If the kids are well taken care of, then her husband might be more relaxed if the home is cleaner and more quiet. So in essence, she is tending to her husband and as she invests in a routine for the kids, she can eventually have time for her reading and meal prep. As long as God is at the center, each area will move more fluidly over time!
The same is true for the post graduate working guy. He can achieve more fluidity if he works with boundaries and realizes that when he feels good physically, he can work better, and when he feels better about his job, he may have more time for socializing.
Even in this circular system we still have to acknowledge that we can’t pay attention to everything all of the time. As the saying goes “If everything is important, then nothing is!” But if we understand the notion that all areas are linked and connected, we can begin to strengthen one area knowing that it will soon spill over strength to another area. So how do we achieve more rounded lives?
Here are 5 simple tips:
- Take care of yourself-do the very basics of bathing, eating as healthy as possible, going to the doctor/dentist, exercising or stretching, getting some sleep, and managing your emotional health.
- Pick an important area or role to enhance. If you are married, be the best spouse you can be. If you are single, be the best worker, friend, or family member you can be. Get books on the area you want to enhance. Go to seminars. Practice being efficient at that role. Once you feel strong in one area, move to another!
- Ditch the world’s system of achieving balance. Let yourself off the hook for never getting it right!
- Rid yourself of unnecessary tasks, dying hobbies, unhealthy relationships, burdensome to-do lists, and unrealistic goals. Stop trying to fit things or people into your life that just don’t work.
- Place God at the center of your life and ask Him to strengthen every weak area.
Our advice is to be the best YOU that you can be first. Take care of your emotions and health. When you take care of YOU, it will influence who you are as a husband, wife, mother, father, sister, brother, friend, worker, student, etc. Do the best you can in one of these roles and watch how it influences the other roles you have. Pretty soon you will have a well-rounded life!!!!!!!